Tormented Teen: Teens and Dating Violence.

February brings Awareness to Teen Dating Violence.

February brings Awareness to Teen Dating Violence.

Adolescent Years

Growing up as little girls, the last thing we think of is being a victim of Domestic Violence. But as life goes on, there are always unforeseen things that happen. Our Adolescent years are supposed to be fun and a time to remember, but for some of us, it’s a time we always try to forget...

The phase of Adolescence is extremely important to a pre-teen’s life. It's a time of transition, growth, and development between childhood and adulthood. The cognitive abilities are still being developed, so logical reasoning isn't as developed to make super sound judgments. Take all of that with the fact that “life be lifing” (No Typo) in your teenage years! (LOL)! Teen life is hard! I have been through one teen phase and I'm ending another here soon, God Willing. There are so many pressures, and decisions, so many opportunities to do wrong and right, so much to figure out, so forth, and so on. 

 A Time To Remember Or A Time To Forget?

I have always spoken with my kids about the importance of being a teenager and all the things that come along with it. But my main message has always been to enjoy their teenage years “RESPONSIBLY”! (LOL) Who am I kidding, teen and responsibility don't go together…(LOL). But seriously, these are the years that you will remember for years to come. But for those that try to forget, count me in that bunch. 

I had my first encounter with Domestic Violence in the form of Intimate Partner Violence in my adolescent years at sixteen years old. I was a young lady in the Glory years of adolescence. The time of the sweet sixteen, the first real crush, the first boyfriend that you may remember or try to forget, either way, you get my point. I had a clue what Intimate Partner Violence was because of witnessing domestic violence over the years. 

Never in a million years would I have thought that would become my reality.

In blog post one I touch on the type of intimate partner violence I encountered (go check it out) at the very tender age of sixteen. My abuser never showed signs early on that he was an abuser, or did he, and I was not aware of those signs. (Stay connected here as I will be posting some warning signs of Teen Dating Violence in the coming days.) Knowing what I now know, the answer would be yes, he showed all the signs, and I was clueless, but I was a young lady in her girly crush years. I eventually had a kid with my abuser, but that’s another story for another day. That one encounter has turned into the nightmare of a lifetime. So, for me, I would rather forget, but since I cannot, I’ll use my story to help those in it and to help others avoid it.

Check some statics about Teen Dating Violence.

Click here to view more. 

Click here to view more. 

The Need to Educate 

Coming up with this Blog title was a challenge, but the title “Tormented Teen” won because that was my real-life reality, and I needed to emphasize the seriousness of Teen Dating Violence. We must educate our kids on the need to cultivate healthy relationships. Because of the manipulative, deceitful, and strategic ways of an abuser, it is equally important to educate them on what healthy relationships do not look like. It’s our job to be the first example and show our kids the way, in every way that we know, and what we don’t know, we leave it in God’s hands. Ultimately, that was my way out. The more they know, the more aware they can be. The more a parent knows, the more aware they become of their teen encountering dating violence. 

I often think back and say to myself, that maybe, just maybe had I listened and gone the way that was laid before me, I would have met MY Boaz and not A Jack-az (LOL! - Refer to the bible if you are lost). But we live and we learn. The best way to not be a victim is to educate ourselves and continue to pray for our kids and their protection from abusers who are always on the prowl to kill, steal, and destroy.

 Take Away

Psalm 121:5-8 (NIV)The Lord will keep you from all harm — he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

Isaiah 49:25 (NIV)

25 But this is what the Lord says:

“Yes, captives will be taken from warriors,

    and plunder retrieved from the fierce;

I will contend with those who contend with you,

    and your children I will save.