STALKING: Where Can One Run To?

Questions For You… 

Have you ever had a Stalker? Have you ever had someone track your every move, show up unannounced, demand your attention, or refuse your rejections? Have you ever woken up with several missed calls? I do not mean a few missed calls. I mean several missed calls in the high double digits. You may be wondering, what is high? How about twenty-four missed calls, try sixty-three missed calls, I will do you one better – try eighty-two missed calls! Fast Forward, try waking up to seventy-three notifications from social media. I do not mean the friendly notifications either.

While I ask you these questions to get your attention, my answer to every question above is, YES.

January is National Stalking Awareness Month

January is the month that highlights Stalking and brings Awareness. Stalking is a course of action that an abuser uses to intimidate a victim and cause fear. Stalking is a common action among abusers. They use it as a tactic to feel they have power and control over their victims.

Stalking is more common than one thinks.

Check out the graphic that puts a number to the issue of stalking.

Of course, there are laws and statutes about stalking. The Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) addresses the issue of stalking as well.

I pose this question again… Are the Laws and Statutes enough to protect victims?

In my experience, they have not been for me. The message has not been received even after restraining orders and incarceration.

Check out the Laws and Statutes about stalking.

Source: https://www.thefederalcriminalattorneys.com/federal-stalking

Red Flags...

If you answered “YES” to my initial question, I have another for you. Did you notice the “Red Flags”? While some of the red flags of stalking can initially appear as cute gestures, the problem lies when the gestures become excessive. Red flags can look like: the demanding of attention, to calling excessively, tracking a person’s moves and whereabouts, etc. Red flags are not always apparent, but it does not take long for someone to figure out if a person’s behavior is out of pocket.

In my experience, stalking came in the form of love bombing at first, then it became extreme, and it gradually grew to become aggressive and abusive in nature. I cannot say that I noticed the red flags immediately, I mean I was a teenager. What I thought was a form of affection at first turned out to be a thing that would threaten my life, and at times lead to physical harm. Two things happened: First, it made me conscientious when dating. I tend not to share too much personal information, and Second: My spirit of discernment (the ability to judge well.) was activated.

Check out the Red Flags of Stalking (Part 1) graphic.

Click HERE to view Parts 2 and 3 of the Red Flags of Stalking.

Where Can One Run To?

Stalking takes away a person’s sense of safety and security. Speaking from the perspective of Intimate Partner Violence, stalking can be somewhat of a challenge to overcome for a victim or survivor of Intimate Partner Violence. Why? Being in a relationship with someone, you tend to share things. If you are in a relationship with someone long enough you introduce them to your family and friends, take them to your favorite hangouts, and basically as time passes, you share very personal information. You never think the information known and shared would endanger you.

Take Away

Stalking is a clear violation of boundaries. While knowing the red flags of stalking is especially important using discernment (the ability to judge well.) is key. Being careful about the information shared is a safety precaution. While we cannot control the actions of others we can respond accordingly.

2 Thessalonians 3:3 (NIV)

3 But the Lord is faithful, and He will strengthen and protect you from the evil one.

1Thessalonians 5:21-22 (NIV) 

21 but test them all; hold on to what is good, 22 reject every kind of evil.

Psalm 119: 66 (NIV)

66 Teach me knowledge and good judgment, for I trust your commands.

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